And found this one instead






I was more than a little concerned. My poor little baby looked like he had gone 10 rounds. After noticing the irony of my boxer puppy looking like he had just gotten out of the ring I called the vet.

As per the doctors orders I gave him a little Benadryl and some baby Tylenol and things started to get better. The swelling was going down and he seemed to be acting ok.





Enter next super stress. After two hours the swelling came back! I couldn't give him more drugs so I gave him a bath hoping that I could wash off whatever was causing this problem. After both Roman and Pike got baths things started to look up again. I stopped worrying and just let them play in the house for the rest of the day.





Again I though we were in the clear so didn't think anything of putting them out to go potty before bed. Bad plan. Pups were out for 5 minutes and when Roman came back in the other eye was starting to swell and he had HIVES!





We guessed that they had played in the old carpet pad we had just pulled out of the house and that is sitting on the trailer in the backyard waiting to go to the dump and that Roman was having an allergic reaction to something in or on it so they spent the day in the front yard today (they are primarily inside dogs but we are doing some crazy remodeling in the house and didn't want to be tripping on them) But I can't win I swear! Roman walked in this evening covered again in HIVES. He has been bathed twice in the last 24 hours, he has gotten Benadryl every 8 hours like the Dr said and he has on a different collar just in case the other one had something on it. I don't know what he is allergic to and I am freaking out!





Vet in the morning.





I HATE that I can't help my baby.

Some of you know that Josh and I bought a house in April.  It is a lovely little house and one day I will actually take and post pictures of everything. However, today I just wanted to say that my entire upstairs is in chaos because my husband is laying tile in our dining area so that we can carpet the rest next week! How I do love my husband and how handy he is (and how BEAUTIFUL my little house is becoming!)

For some time now I have been considering creating a blog dedicated to my joys and struggles as I try to live a "normal" life while dealing with severe depression.  For some reason, today was the day for that to start, so check it out if you want or don't.

topsyturveymind.blogspot.com

 It will be very open and honest and I am really excited about having a space to get things out of my head and maybe help others struggling with the same things have a safe place to talk about how they are feeling.

This blog will remain to talk about the random goings on of my family.

I sit at work and listen to the classic rock station that is a popular workplace radio station here in southern idaho and I have come to a frustrating conclusion. Many people in the generation before mine (not all) have a big problem with a lot of the popular music of today because of its racy lyrics and sexual inuendo. NEWSFLASH: listen to the lyrics of the music you deem, apropriate although it may not have the beat and synthesizers that our music does, a lot of it doesn't have squeaky clean lyrics either.

Case in point- the song that was just on - that my 50 yr old office manager, who does happen to have a huge problem with popular music, was just singing along too-

Close your eyes, make a wish
And blow out the candlelight
For tonight is just your night
We're gonna celebrate, all thru the night
Pour the wine, light the fire
Girl your wish is my command
I submit to your demands
I'll do anything, girl you need only ask

Chorus:
I'll make love to you
Like you want me to
And I'll hold you tight
Baby all through the night
I'll make love to you
When you want me to
And I will not let go
Till you tell me to

Girl relax, let's go slow
I ain't got nowhere to go
I'm just gonna concentrate on you
Girl are you ready, it's gonna be a long night
Throw your clothes on the floor
I'm gonna take my clothes off tooI made plans to be with you
Girl whatever you ask me you know I'll do

Chorus

Baby tonight is your night
And I will do you right
Just make a wish on your night
Anything that you ask
I will give you the love of your life


No sexual subject matter there at all... Double standards and hypocrites bug me.

Josh woke up yesterday morning and I wasn't in bed next to him. He figured that maybe I had fallen asleep downstairs watching a movie. However, when he walked back into the room he saw me asleep on the floor and then worried that he was in trouble.

In actuality, I walked in to the room the night before after Josh had gone to bed and looked at Pike's face and he looked so sad. I realized that we have been so busy with the new house and fixing things and working and taking care of my sister's little dog that we are babysitting that he has been a little neglected. (yes he is totally spoiled) I promptly got my pillow and a blanket and laid down on the floor next to his bed so he would know we still love him. He snuggled up next to me and we slept there all night.

Josh has decided that I can't say that I would be a bad mom.

I tend to not write on here often because I assume no one wants to hear the mundane, frustrating, normal goings on of my life but today I need a space to write my feelings of late and I decided that maybe cyberspace was that space. I can't offend or disappoint cyberspace, and it can't decide to end our association or say that I talk too much, so dear cyberspace this is for you. (and to anyone actually reading this isn't a rainbows and sunshine post, just real life and real feelings so i won't be offended if you aren't interested-maybe one day I will make a personal blog for my personal thoughts but tonight this is what I have to work with)

Being married is hard. Sometimes my husband and I fight, sometimes he makes me crazy and I him. The last two years of our lives have been hell. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore my husband but I have had severe depression since we got married (kicked over the edge by going on birth control before we got married). It is literally miraculous that I am alive, I have had a lot of days full of suicide plans. I have spent months of my life curled in a ball on my couch not moving for hours on end. I have gained too much weight- due to the sitting on the couch for months. And now struggle to lose it as I start to regain control of my mind. My husband is amazing and has stood by me through all of this and loved me. Only recently have his own struggles come to light and presented me the opportunity to stand by him and love him as he fights his own demons. It is very hard thing but it made me realize that he is a wonderful man and we are blessed to be together, no one else could stand either of us.

We bought a house- it is an amazing house and everyday I am stressed about being able to afford it. It isn't expensive or elaborate and needs a ton of work done but I still worry.

Everyone around is having babies or has babies. I don't want a baby, which is pretty much a mortal sin being a member of a church that values so highly motherhood and families but I like my dogs. I don't trust myself to be a mom. So congrats to everyone else and please do the very best to let your children know everyday how much you love them and want them. I will leave the momming to you who are brave enough to do it. (This thought makes Josh sad. He would like to have kids one day but I would be happy to always just have my boxer babies.)

My "little" (he is 16 and 6 ft tall) brother is living with us. He really likes it here, that makes my heart happy. But I worry that we are not good enough to have him here. We don't go to church enough, we don't pray enough, we swear too much, and are too critical and judgemental. I hope that we can be better so he can become a good man. Maybe that is why I like dogs, I can't emotionally or mentally damage them.

Dear Cyberspace, thanks for listening. My heart is a little lighter which is saying a lot these days.

Morgan

This is a test of the cell phone blogging system...beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.....this has been a test

I know I am terrible at blogging because I am pretty sure most people just don't care that much about the goings on of our life. Also, the thought of trying to recap everything I haven't written about is too daunting so if you are really that interested you probably already know or you can ask.

Moving on.....

I am writing to announce that one week from Sunday on April 25th at 4pm there will be a choral performance like none other in the history of Pocatello. The ISU Women's Choir will be performing Stabat Mater by Giovani Pergolesi in its entirety. Unless you are a voice major you probably have no clue what I am talking about (I had never heard of it until last fall) so I will give you a brief introduction.

Stabat Mater is translated from Latin as "Sorrowful Mother" the entire work is based on the feelings, sorrows and love of Mary as she watched her Son be hung on the cross for the sins of his people. Although each of the 13 movements are in Latin (a poetic translation will be provided) the story is passionate and beautiful and expresses the sorrows only a mother could know while grieving over her first born.

Permission is granted to copy, distribute and/or modify this document under the terms of the GNU Free Documentation License,

Along with my choir I have been working on this piece since September and have truly come to love it and appreciate the message it conveys. So here I am inviting everyone who is in the Pocatello (Idaho Falls, Salt Lake, etc) area to come to this wonderful (FREE!!!!) concert at 4pm Sunday April 25th at the Congregational Church. We have worked really hard (and are REALLY good).

If you aren't there you will truly be missing out.

P.S. I am one of the 5 soloists! It will be awesome! And it is only about 45 minutes long so well worth your time.

P.P.S. if you want to come and would like to spend the weekend in glorious (cough* cough*) Pocatello, we will be in our new 4 bedroom house by then so you could stay with us! More on the house at a later date!